Quite possibly the laziest in all of Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide.
Goon: WHERE'S THE MONEY, LEBOWSKI?! (shoves Dude's head in the toilet again) WHERE'S THE FUCKIN' MONEY, SHITHEEEAAD?!
Dude: (legitimately confused) It's... it's... it's down there somewhere; let me take another look.
- It very slowly dawns on them that they don't have the right place. "Isn't this guy supposed to be a millionaire, or something?"
Goon: (discovers Dude's bowling ball) ...What the fuck is this?
Dude: Obviously, you're not a golfer.
(Goon drops the bowling ball, cracking one of the tiles in the floor)
- Inexplicably, the goons have switched outfits with each other when they return to The Dude's house.
- When they leave, one of them snaps "Thanks for nothing, loser!" as if the Dude is the one who has inconvenienced them.
- Made even funnier in the TV edits, which turn the scene into a surreal Non Sequitur. The Coens had fun with self-censorship; they knew it would be altered so they did it themselves.
"DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS?! DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY?! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FEED A STONER SCRAMBLED EGGS!!"
- Even better is the fact that that isn't Larry's car.
- The mere fact that Walter, a giant and alleged war veteran feels bested and "stonewalled" by Larry, a boy who doesn't even say a word.
- "We're gonna cut your dick off, Larry."
- Walter, trying to play detective: "Is this your homework, Larry?"
Jesus: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of that crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger till it goes click.
The Dude: Jesus.
Jesus: You said it man. Nobody fucks with The Jesus.
Walter: (longer beat) Eight-year-olds, Dude.
- Even better later on, when the Dude trips over the barricade.
Walter: Oh please, dear? For your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!!!
Lady, I GOT BUDDIES WHO DIED FACE DOWN IN THE MUCK SO YOU AND I CAN ENJOY THIS FAMILY RESTAURANT!
(The Dude promptly leaves)
Walter: (beat) "I'm staying. I'm finishing my coffee... Enjoyin' my coffee."
The Dude: Well, why don't you call them up and explain that, Walter? Your plan is that fucking simple I'm sure they'd understand.
Donny: Where you going, Dude?
The Dude: I'm going home, Donny.
Donny: Your phone's ringing, Dude.
The Dude: Thank you, Donny.
- Donny's concentration as he tries to keep visual contact with the Jesus through The Dude's bent arms.
Walter: Smokey, this is not Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.
Walter: Has the whole world gone CRAZY? AM I THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES? MARK IT ZERO!
Walter: "Dude, I'm perfectly calm!"
The Dude: "Wha— Wavin' the fuckin' GUN around?!"
Walter: "I'm calmer than you are."
The Dude: "Will you just take it easy?!"
Walter: "...I'm calmer'n you are."
The Dude: I don't need your fucking sympathy, man [Walter]. I need my fucking johnson.
The Dude: It's like Lenin said [...]
Donny: I am the Walrus?
The Dude: What are you, a fucking park ranger now?"
- Given the significant rewriting the film got to become Two Gentlemen of Lebowski, the fact that "Ever thus to deadbeats" is only slightly rearranged (it becomes "to deadbeats, ever thus") speaks volumes about what a needlessly pretentious thing it is to say while urinating on someone's floor.
Racially he's pretty cool huh?
Walter: Never been so sure of anything in my life.
- Made doubly hilarious by the fact that the man is shaped like a giant phallus himself from torso upwards. In other words, a giant anthropomorphic penis with a long erect penis of his own.
- Better still, this is the Dude's only real attempt at detective work in the film. It gets him dick.
Lebowski: They did not receive the money, you nitwit! They did not receive the money! Her life was in your hands!
Brandt:(adjusts glasses) This is our concern, Dude.
"Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not "Mr. Lebowski". You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing."
Walter: Say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.